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Hi Angela!

Today we really focused in on processing our emotions (without trying to rationalize them) and venting them like a chimney, while still managing the situation in the moment. This tied into the “sky is purple” story and not arguing with a stubborn jackass. We explored how you can apply this in the moments of your life where your trigger of “not being smart enough or not saying the right thing” brings up all of the past hurts. I.e. when someone asks for your opinion but then resists it, ask yourself if they are in the ‘sky is purple’ mentality or not before deciding what to do. The Change Visualization listed below will help create the space needed for this inquiry.

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:

  1. Touch base with Executrade to see how things are going with your job hunt
  2. Set up a daily intentional practice of looking for evidence of when you were brilliant, smart, said the right thing, said a helpful thing etc and start keeping a log of these. In the beginning it will feel awkward and may be harder to find the evidence of these things, but stick with it because over time it will get easier. I promise.
  3. Try the Change Visualization for scenarios that you struggle to respond rather than react. We’re looking to build that barrier in the middle of the field to slow your thought habits down and bring you back out to the sidewalk.
  4. Write out a self-compassion script or two to use regularly to help you start building a bit more self-compassion into your life:
    1. Part one – name the emotions you’re feeling
    2. Part two – validate and comfort yourself for the reason for feeling those emotions
    3. Part three – focus on what your smallest next step is going to be.
  5. Schedule a regular time to process your big emotions from the day – venting them like a chimney rather than either bottling them up or projecting them into other situations in your life.
  6. Start on the Intimate Relationships exploration: read a few questions to get your brain thinking and then talk it out to yourself (either writing it down or talking out loud)

 

Our next session is scheduled for December 10, 2023 at 7:30 pm your local time. Please message me with any questions you may have or thoughts you’d like to share.

Today we did a repeat of our baseline assessment and here were your scores:

How would you rate your stress in the past three months? – Somewhat High

How much time do you spend per week taking care of yourself? – Some

What are your primary sources of stress and/or burnout? (please select all that apply)

Work, Family, Significant Other

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your physical health? – 6

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your mental health – 7

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your skills development and personal learning curriculum? – 9

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your family interactions? – 7

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your friend interactions? – 8

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your finances? – 7

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with the amount of playfulness in your life? – 8

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your responsibilities and routines? – 8

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your overall alignment with your mission and values? – 8

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, where would you rate your satisfaction with your career? – 6

Summary of today’s discussion:

  • We identified the areas that you’d like to focus on for the next few months as:
    • finding more concrete, fulfilling and enjoyable work
    • becoming more clear on what you’re looking for in a relationship and if Naomi is a good fit for that (if so, how to work on rebuilding the relationship)
    • working on understanding your money story and how that’s affecting your current decisions and life path

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:

  1. Fill out the Executrade form and send it off so you can start working with the agency to find the right new job for you – your set deadline for this is by October 28th (with no extra accountability needed)
  2. Check out the Accountability Session Scheduler here and use these to set an appointment with yourself and let us help you be accountable to them.
  3. Complete the Intimate Relationship part of this page to discover more about your beliefs, learned beliefs, and what you want in an intimate relationship.
  4. Once you’re finished these things, and if you’re ready to work on writing your life purpose and legacy statement, please end me an email and I’ll add it to your portal.

Our next session is scheduled for November , 2023 at 7:30 pm your local time. Please note the time change.

Great work over the last 6 sessions! Below I will provide the summary of our session, and then I’ll add a list of things that we can continue to work on in the future.

Summary of today’s discussion:

  • The Vedic concept of Tapas – burning enthusiasm, discipline, and a sense of play. How can you bring this feeling into your day-to-day tasks, especially those that you’re struggling to find internal motivation with?
    • Strategies discussed: 1 – Pomodoro Timer, 2 – Gamifying your progress by timing yourself and trying to beat your old record for completion time, 
    • Try voice notes (without looking at the transcription yet) to help you create your first drafty-draft/first-pancake-version, and then allow the perspectives of others start to shape the draft.
    • Try to do the creative flow-chart first to map out your ideas and “sort your yarn”
  • Addressing sleep – working to regulate your sleep hormonal cycles for melatonin and cortisol.

 

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:

  1. Try taking Instagram off your phone for the week, and only adding it back on the phone on the weekend
  2. Work with your stress switch by regularly turning it off throughout the day to keep your cortisol levels steady (regular moments of deep breathing, stretching, self-compassion scripts, etc)
  3. Watch this video on Designing Your Pre-Work Routine to help you maintain your focus and productivity.

 

Our next session is scheduled for October 22, 2023 at 8 pm your local time. I will be sending you some more information about the options for us to continue to work together, but we’ve tentatively scheduled this time for now. If you need to reschedule please let us know at least 24 hours in advance.

 

Areas to continue to focus on:

  • Confidence in challenging conversations, setting boundaries, and being vulnerable
  • Celebrating yourself and feeling worthy of celebration
  • Intrinsic motivation

It was lovely to see how well the hormones have been working for you, and I’m so glad to hear that  you’ve had such meaningful conversations with your daughter and that the olive branch is being extended on both sides with your son. Excellent news!

Today we talked about the four types of energy: Physical, mental, emotional and fulfillment. You’ve identified that your mental and emotional energy is lower at work and something that you’re ready to address in some cases.

Summary of today’s discussion:

  1. What drains your mental energy at work:
    • When I see things that are not right and have been not right for a year and no one has noticed. Easy fixes, but no one has fixed it. Frustration about typos, punctuation, and wrong instructions
      • Problem Solve

    • Having to always finesse things from other people’s perspectives. Listening to other people’s opinions and trying to reflect those – but they have opinions that aren’t helpful.

      • Problem Solve – try to not let my back get up, don’t get impatient, don’t want to make my colleagues feel uncomfortable if they’re all over the place. I want to have people to feel safe and comfortable.

    • Learn a new technical language IT language to build a new system

      • Go with the flow – explain that I’m not an expert here. Being the middle communicator between different agencies.

 

2. What drains your emotional energy at work:

    • getting impatient and mad about myself at being impatient, then worrying about how that impatience affects others, lack of impulse control

      • problem solve – I don’t want to dismiss it as a possibility, and I will put effort into it.

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:

  1. Go through the list above of the things that drain your mental and emotional energy that you identified you want to problem solve and create your first few action steps. Our example that we worked through is below:

  2. Make sure to prioritize walks outside, meditations, breathing exercises, pranayama or quick qigong flows to help you restore your mental and emotional energy throughout the day. (I will send you the accountability booking link via email)

 

Identified emotional energy drain you want to address: Learning how to recommunicate with each other now that the troublesome person has gone.

  • process efficiencies need to be identified

  • in-person meetings with walk-throughs of the system, what control we have to edit things ourselves and things that need to be changed by the provider

    • the plan is to work things through in chunks, moving through the process as if we were a new applicant

  • You identified that there might be some hesitancy to contribute to the discussion because they may thing they might not know enough – which you then identified it would be super important to make sure that the space is safe. When I asked you what that would look like, here’s what you came up with:

    • Approaching with humility, that people learn things in different ways. Create the culture of safety – communicate this to the group when you schedule the meeting to have people know that they’re going to help shape the meeting and that there will be a discussion at the beginning to set some group rules

    • Footprints in the sand – playing in the sandbox version rather than the production side

    • Talking stick and pineapple conversations when it’s time to start working things through – a way to lessen the tension and pressure to have it all figured out before presenting an idea

If you have any questions between now and our next session, please feel free to message me using the form above or by sending me an email. I’m happy to support you between sessions!

Our next session is scheduled for September 17, 2023 at 8 pm your local time. If you need to reschedule please let us know at least 24 hours in advance.

I apologize, Angela, I made a mistake. We still have two more sessions, so next session is our 5th – we still have lots of time.

Summary of Today:

  • Today we focused on communication styles and dug into a recent experience with your son regarding communication styles and how to set a boundary to ask for the space you need.

Here’s what we developed for this conversation so far:

Acknowledge that he likely needs space too.

I need the space because being up around him and the baby is bring up unpleasant memories, and I want to be able to focus more on the pleasant ones. I adored him and do the best I could for you, but didn’t know how to do it and I felt at the time that I didn’t have the help that I needed. I also didn’t ask for help because I didn’t want people to think I couldn’t do it. 

I don’t want to do anything with the baby. I’ll take the dog, iron your laundry, do your laundry, clean your dog.

“You know your baby better than anyone else.”

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:

    1. Write out what you plan to say to your son, sleep on it, decide if you want to send it to someone for feedback
    2. Schedule a time to talk with your son face to face, letting him know it will be a quick conversation (because you need space before going into anything deeper)
    3. Plan for how you’re going to regulate your nervous system before, during and after the conversation.
    4. Take a deep breath and remember that always do your best doesn’t mean always be perfect.

If you have any questions between now and our next session, please feel free to message me using the form above or by sending me an email. I’m happy to support you between sessions!

Our next session is scheduled for August 31, 2023 at 7:00 pm your local time. If you need to reschedule please let us know at least 24 hours in advance.

Love all the things you were able to identify to celebrate about yourself! Keep the momentum going this week with your daily celebration practice.

Summary of Today:
  • We talked about why we’re able to let go, let go, let go – and then things erupt in a big emotional reaction. It’s like poking a lion – the first few times it’s able to ignore the experience, but then it roars.
  • We briefly discussed widening your window, what this means, and the difference between passive and restorative self-care. Part of what helps us widen our window is when we’re proactive with the restorative self-care, rather than using it as a band-aid.
 

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:
  1. Continue working on your daily celebration practice where you celebrate one thing about you and how you showed up, how you acted, a decision you made, or a boundary you set. Celebrate the wins and celebrate the beautiful human that you are. Not all celebrations have to be “big” – sometimes getting out of bed and brushing your teeth is a win. Celebrate that too.

  2. Watch this video on widening your window:


  3. Take time each day to notice the everyday wonder, especially the beauty of nature. You don’t have to share it with anyone else, but it’s important to make sure that you give this time to yourself again: reconnect to that joyful person inside.


If you have any questions between now and our next session, please feel free to message me using the form above or by sending me an email. I’m happy to support you between sessions!

Our next session is scheduled for August 13, 2023 at 8:00 pm your local time. If you need to reschedule please let us know at least 24 hours in advance.

Excellent work with your core values, identity goal and starting the time blocking! I encourage you to keep working with that and keep applying the time blocking strategies to help improve your work-flow.

Summary of Today:

  • Today we talked about your self-talk origin story for the belief of being less than and “never smart enough” – where your protection of your reputation and the fear of judgement potentially stems from. This might also be where the self-deprecating sense of humor is driven from.
  • We also talked about how you are the rock for everyone else – but you don’t always know if you have the rock to lean on when you need support. We talked about the picket fence area and how some people only get to see the outside of the picket fence where everything looks perfect, but there are some that can let in to see that you need support, too.

 

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:

  1. A daily celebration practice where you celebrate one thing about you and how you showed up, how you acted, a decision you made, or a boundary you set. Celebrate the wins and celebrate the beautiful human that you are. Not all celebrations have to be “big” – sometimes getting out of bed and brushing your teeth is a win. Celebrate that too.
  2. Write a grief letter to the 18-year old version of you that is trying to process what happened with your sister after she said those things. Offer this part of you comfort, understanding, wisdom, calm, and let them know that it won’t always be like this.  Then, write a letter to your sister. Allow yourself to move through to kindness, the anger, the frustration, the sadness – and let it all out on paper.
  3. Try this meditation:
     

 

If you have a moment when you’re feeling brave, reach out to a close and trusted friend saying that you’re doing some inner healing work and that you’re focusing on celebrating yourself and was wondering if they’d be open to writing a short list or letter sharing some of the things that they want to celebrate about who you are.

If you have any questions between now and our next session, please feel free to message me using the form above or by sending me an email. I’m happy to support you between sessions!

Our next session is scheduled for July 23, 2023 at 8:00 pm your local time. If you need to reschedule please let us know at least 24 hours in advance.

Thanks for sharing so openly with me today, Angela. It really helped me get to know you and see where we can direct our 6 sessions together to have the biggest potential impact.

Summary of Today:

  • Talked about where you rated yourself lower in the baseline life assessment, and also discussed your desire for more work life balance.
  • You repeatedly identified that you wanted more calm in your life – and that is absolutely something the resources in this app (along with our sessions) can help you do.
  • We chatted about identity goals and the difference being that they are future focused “I’m not a smoker, vs. I’m trying to quit”

Self-Study Activities and Action Steps:

  1. Core Values – Use this guide to identify your core values and complete the exercise at the end of the pdf.
  2. Identity Goals – Reflect on who you want to be/who you thought you’d be by now. Define what wisdom really means to you – how does a wise person feel, think, act, behave, believe, do? Write about who that version of you is as if you had already achieved it. To keep running with the example we talked about on our call, something like “I’m not a smoker” instead of “I’ve quit smoking”
  3. Do a quick job-demands analysis for yourself and block off time regular time during your week to get those baseline tasks done. This is protected time and cannot be booked by other people so make sure to block your calendar. At the beginning of each time-work-block, decide what you’re going to get done in that period of time and challenge yourself to stick to that schedule. Next week we’ll talk about minimizing distractions, communicating boundaries etc. – so for now, you’re on an information gathering mission. Notice what distracts you, what brings you off course, and what works to get you focused again.

If you have any questions between now and our next session, please feel free to message me using the form above or by sending me an email. I’m happy to support you between sessions!

Our next session is scheduled for July 9, 2023 at 8:00 pm your local time. If you need to reschedule please let us know at least 24 hours in advance.

Every other week you will have a 30 or 60-minute session with Avery where you’ll work through the Recover, Optimize, and Elevate programs.

Within 24 hours of your session, you will receive an email letting you know that your portal has been updated. Here, in the tabs above you will see notes from your call, goals you’ve set with Avery, and links to activities she’d like you to do before you meet again.

If you have any questions, please submit them in the message box above as they will go to a priority inbox that Avery answers several times throughout the day (so you will get the fastest response this way). This inbox is also private and only Avery can access it.

Before your first session, please complete this assessment so we can identify your baseline and track your progress over our sessions together.